This is pretty gross. If you gross out easily, experience nausea at the mention of certain organic materials, or just don’t like to hear about stuff that originates in the noses of other people, skip this blog. You have been warned.

I did something today that I should have done months ago.

There’s a place in a restroom I visit frequently that itself is visited dozens or perhaps hundreds of times each weekday. The place requires the visitor to stand upright for a minute or so at a time as a consequence of consuming liquids. You get my drift.

While visiting this particular spot in this particular restroom, I noticed some months ago that someone else who visited that same spot wiped a booger on the wall. This wall is the one that must be faced each time this particular spot is visited. Needless to say, anyone visiting that particular spot, as opposed to the other 5 or 6 spots serving the same purpose in this particular restroom, could not help but notice the booger on the wall. Of the dozens or hundreds or perhaps even thousands of visits to that particular spot over the past few months, no one took it upon himself to take down the booger from the wall. Until today.

Yes I, on my own and with no assistance from anyone else, dowsed a paper towel with soap and water and wiped that booger clean off the wall. By now, the booger sleeps in the dumpster behind the building that contains the restroom under study. That’s not to say that another booger won’t occupy the same wall in the days or weeks to come. But at least I, and the hundreds or thousands of extremely tolerant others, won’t have to watch that booger and wonder 1) whose nose did it originate in and 2) will it ever fall off the wall with no assistance. Those questions will never be answered, unless someone admits to having placed it on the wall. Who knows, maybe someone will take credit who didn’t even do it. People do strange things like that from time to time.

We’ve all seen boogers wiped on walls, on the cushions of chairs, on desktops, and in a myriad of other places. Hey, what can we expect someone to do with a booger anyway, once it’s been plucked from the nose? I would like to think that the only reason people pick their noses is because they don’t have a tissue or a handkerchief to assist with the task at hand. But I know better than that. People must pick their noses BECAUSE THEY CAN. I’ve seen monkeys do it, so it must be a primate thing. It’s embedded in our genes, probably never to be exorcised.

I also know one more thing. If you want to plant a virus into yourself, the very best way to do it is get it on your finger and then stick that finger up your nose. BINGO! What gets on our fingers and hands during the course of a day? Every freakin virus you can think of, deposited by the infected carriers on the very places you touch time and again every day.

So next time you’re bored and think a nice fat flu bug or cold virus would get you out of the doldrums, PICK YOUR NOSE! Then, by all means, wipe that nasty thing somewhere so that we can all see your handiwork.

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