My Nude Photos

Due to the recent controversy concerning the hacked nude photos of celebrities, I have decided not to take any more nude photos of myself.

This was a difficult decision to make, since the taking of nude photos of myself had become part of my normal daily routine. I’d snap a few upon climbing out of bed (having to take my pajamas off to get the complete me), then a few more during my morning bathroom routine. I’d snap a couple on my way down the stairs and a few more while eating breakfast. Man, those vinyl bar stool seats are cold in the winter!

Then I’d take a few more before dressing for the day. Once dressed, I’d have to strip down to get full nudes which could be a pain. But once in a while I’d cheat and just take my shirt off, snapping a suggestive shot that didn’t show me below the waist. I’d always take the opportunity to get a few more when I’d change clothes to work out, ride my bike, or go out for dinner.

The most difficult shots were always out in public, such as in stores, malls, and parks. Those required a lot of thought and strategy. I’d have to work my way into situations that put me out of view of anyone who might call the cops but yet show a background that looked like I was exposed to anyone and everyone. Some of those shots were really classic. The main problem with these was that, by the time I had taken the photos, I either forgot why I had gone to the place or I didn’t have enough time left to do whatever it was I was there for. Taking nude photos of oneself might seem, to the uninitiated, like it’s a quick, spur of the moment thing. But if you’re really into it, it is a real time hog. Then I found out that my “private” photos weren’t really private after all. Hackers are out there, folks, so quit snapping the real you unless you want Grandma to see you in the buff. In my case, Grandma has been gone many years, but there’s always friends, acquaintances, and the elderly woman down the street.

So now, instead of snapping my nudies, I’ve been catching up on my reading and writing a novel. So far, I’ve read three books, tons of informative articles, and have written over 22,000 words of my novel since retiring.

So, take this to heart. If you’re out there in the buff, posing in your house and all over town, having a great time putting your naked self on phones, computers, and servers all over the world, your fun could turn into a nightmare. If you really like to see yourself in the buff, use a mirror. And make sure no one is behind you with a cell phone. Remember, photos taken and forgotten could be posted by someone rotten.

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