Not to Worry About High Temps

We hear a lot these days about “average” temperatures around the world. Although some parts of the world are seeing temperatures rise (such as at the polar regions where old ice is melting fast) other parts experience cooler than average temperatures.

It’s important to put this all in perspective, and a recent discovery has been helped to do just that. It shows that just about anything is possible, and it’s entirely possible that Old Mother Earth is taking care of herself.

A team of geologists from the University of Helios has managed to stumble across the hard evidence of Mother’s personal hygiene. In an awe inspiring report published in Scientific World Journal, the Helios team reports that they have discovered a pocket of extreme cold in an obscure region known as Los Cabahaches in Paraguay. The cold in Los Cabahaches, in fact, is so extreme that its temperature is not measurable. Scientific estimates of the cold range from minus 270 degrees Celsius to minus 272.5 degrees Celsius. Since absolute zero (the point at which molecular motion reaches its minimal state) is currently recognized as minus 273.15 degrees Celsius, the cold in Los Cabahaches is much more than bone chilling. It is a point at which molecules begin to doubt their own existence. It is a frigidity that makes time stand still.

The area of Los Cabahaches is estimated to be approximately 90,846 square kilometers, slightly larger that the state of Indiana. This place, unheralded and mostly unrecognized in the rest of the world, has put upon itself the task of equalizing the temperature of Earth so that global warming is not an issue. As long as Los Cabahaches (and a gradually increasing area surrounding it) can descend into a terrestrial deep freeze of heretofore unheard of proportions, the average mean temperature of Earth will remain relatively constant (all things considered).

So now we can breathe a bit easier. Mother Earth will take care of herself. She doesn’t need us to tinker with the climate in feeble efforts to save us from the disaster of increasing average mean temperatures. She will see to her own affairs.

There are only a few negatives associated with this latest scientific discovery. The glaciers will thaw, hurricanes and tornadoes will increase in frequency, many animal species will decline and eventually die off, and crops will be increasingly difficult to bring to fruition. But at least we’ll have a reasonable average mean temperature.

I say take what you can get and be happy with it.

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