I received a second response to my queries to literary agents the other day. It was, like the first one, well-written, concise, to the point, and dismissive.
This one contained the line, “Though what you’ve written promises to be thoughtful and compelling, I’m afraid we were unable to find a place for it at this agency.”
I like that sentence. I’m not kidding, it is really good. In fact, it’s the kind of sentence that could be used in a number of situations with only minor editing.
“Though your opinion is thoughtful and compelling, I’m afraid I can’t find a place for it in my mind.”
“Though what you’ve done was thorough and complete, I’m afraid it’s just not sufficient for us to keep you on the payroll.”
“Though you are thoughtful and compelling, your presence here will be terminated upon your imminent demise.”
“Though you are thoughtless and revolting, I’m afraid we were unable to find a place for you in our travesty.”
“Though you are putrid and decaying, I’m afraid we were unable to find a place for you in our cemetery.”
I’m sure you could think of some good ones. If you do, why not post them as comments below? It could be fun.